We Still Do – Six-Week Marriage Class, Marriage Conference, and Wedding and Vow Renewal Ceremony

Week 4 Follow-Up

Assignment & Assessment

Dear Couples,

Thank you for joining us for Week 4 of our We Still Do marriage journey! We pray that Sunday’s lesson, “Intimacy, Affection & Restoring Connection,” encouraged you to intentionally pursue deeper emotional, spiritual, mental, relational, recreational, and physical connection with one another.

This week, we were reminded that a wedding begins a marriage, but intentional pursuit sustains it. We Still Do is a present-tense declaration:

I still choose you.

I still honor our covenant.

I still believe God can work in us.

I still want to know you, love you, understand you, and grow with you.

As part of your Week 4 participation, please complete the following assignments before our next class.

Week 4 Assessment

Attendance credit is required.

To receive credit for attending Week 4, each individual must complete the Week 4 Assessment using the link below.

If you missed the class, click here to view

Both partners must complete the assessment individually.

Completing the assessment serves as your attendance verification and participation credit for the fourth class.

The assessment should be completed before starting Week 5.

COMPLETE THE WEEK 4 ASSESSMENT

Week 4 Connection Conversation

Set aside at least 30 uninterrupted minutes this week. Turn off the television, silence your phones, and intentionally focus on each other.

Begin your time by reading 1 Corinthians 16:14 together:

“Let all your things be done with charity.”

Part 1 – Understanding Intimacy

Take turns answering each question. Listen without interrupting, correcting, defending, or immediately attempting to solve the other person’s concerns.

In which area do you currently feel most connected to me: emotionally, spiritually, mentally, relationally, recreationally, or physically?
In which area would you like us to become more connected?
What helps you feel safe enough to be honest, open, and vulnerable with me?
Is there anything that makes you hesitate to share your feelings, fears, needs, or concerns with me?
What can I do to help our relationship become a safer place for truth and grace?

Part 2 – Affection and Intentional Pursuit

What type of affection helps you feel most seen, valued, and loved?
Which daily deposit of affection means the most to you: words, touch, attention, time, service, or celebration?
What did I do earlier in our relationship that made you feel intentionally pursued?
What is one way I can begin pursuing you more intentionally in this season?
What is one enjoyable activity we can plan that is not centered on errands, children, bills, work, or other responsibilities?

The Little Foxes Conversation

Read Song of Solomon 2:15 together:

“Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.”

Small, repeated habits can quietly damage a relationship. Review the following areas together:

Unresolved resentment
Constant criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt or disrespect
Emotional neglect
Withholding affection
Mind reading
Scorekeeping
Comparison
Secrecy
Failure to repair
Spiritual distance

Discuss the following:

Which “little fox” has the greatest potential to weaken our connection?
What small habit do we need to stop?
What new habit can we establish in its place?
Is there an unresolved issue that we need to revisit with humility and gentle language?
How can we protect our marriage from receiving only the leftovers of our time, energy, and attention?

Restoration Conversation

Intimacy cannot be demanded when safety has been damaged. It must be rebuilt through truth, repentance, compassion, consistency, boundaries, forgiveness, and time.

Use the five movements of restoration to discuss one small area that needs repair.

1. Tell the Truth With Humility

What happened, and what needs to be acknowledged without minimizing, exaggerating, or shifting blame?

2. Listen for Impact

How did the words, actions, or lack of action affect the other spouse?

3. Take Responsibility

Complete these statements without adding “but you”:

“I was wrong when I ______________________________.”

“I understand that it made you feel ______________________________.”

“I am sincerely sorry for ______________________________.”

4. Repair Through Consistent Action

What changed behavior would help rebuild confidence and connection?

5. Create a New Pattern

What safeguard, boundary, communication practice, or source of support can help prevent this issue from being repeated?

The Seven-Day Intimacy Reset

Complete the following activities before Week 5. The goal is consistency, not perfection.

Day 1 — Appreciation

Each spouse should name three specific things they appreciate about the other.

Avoid general statements such as “You are nice.” Be specific about the character, action, sacrifice, growth, or contribution you appreciate.

Day 2 — Listening

Spend at least 15 minutes asking one another:

“How is your heart in this season?”

Listen without interrupting, correcting, defending, or trying to fix the situation.

Day 3 — Affection

Initiate a form of mutually welcomed affection that your spouse values.

This may include a hug, holding hands, sitting close, an encouraging message, an act of service, focused attention, or another expression your spouse can recognize and receive.

Day 4 — Prayer

Pray together for your marriage, family, purpose, healing, and emotional connection.

Each spouse should pray aloud, even if the prayer is brief.

Day 5 — Repair

Address one small unresolved issue using gentle language.

Offer a sincere apology where needed, listen for impact, and agree on one action that will help repair the situation.

Day 6 — Enjoyment

Do something enjoyable together.

For the first 30 minutes, do not discuss problems, bills, schedules, children’s needs, work responsibilities, or unfinished tasks. Focus on friendship, laughter, rest, and positive connection.

Day 7 — Covenant Check-In

Complete the following statements:

“This week, I felt closest to you when…”

“One thing you did that made me feel loved was…”

“Next week, I need…”

“One thing I will do to strengthen our connection is…”

Our STILL Commitment

Discuss how you will practice each part of the Married4Life STILL Commitment:

S — I Still Seek God Together
How will we pray, worship, read Scripture, or seek God together?

T — I Still Talk Truthfully and Tenderly
When will we create protected time for honest conversation?

I — I Still Initiate Affection and Interest
How will each of us take responsibility for initiating connection?

L — I Still Listen to Understand
What will we do to hear the heart beneath each other’s words?

L — I Still Love Through Consistent Action
What dependable act of love will each of us practice?

Couple Reflection

After completing your activities, discuss the following:

What did you learn about how your spouse experiences intimacy and affection?
Which dimension of intimacy needs the most attention in your relationship?
What “little fox” are you committed to removing?
What activity from the Seven-Day Intimacy Reset helped you feel most connected?
What is one commitment you are making before God to protect and strengthen your connection?

We Still Do Covenant

Before closing your time together, hold hands and read this covenant aloud:

We choose to build love, trust, and unity together.

We will not allow routine, pride, hurt, neglect, busyness, or distraction to define our relationship.

With God’s help, we will communicate with kindness, listen with humility, forgive with grace, show affection intentionally, and protect our connection.

We will seek God together, talk truthfully and tenderly, initiate affection and interest, listen to understand, and love through consistent action.

We still honor our covenant.

We still pursue one another.

We still believe healing is possible.

We still choose compassion.

We still practice kindness.

We still humble ourselves.

We still forgive.

We still protect our connection.

We still choose each other.

Together, we boldly declare...

WE STILL DO!

Share the Journey

One of the greatest gifts you can give another couple is the opportunity to strengthen their relationship.

If this session blessed you, we encourage you to invite another married, engaged, or seriously dating couple to join our We Still Do six-week experience. It is never too late to invest in a stronger, healthier, Christ-centered relationship.

Marriage Ambassador Challenge

Invite a couple who:

Registers for the course
Participates in the six-week experience
Successfully completes the program

When they complete the course, you will receive one entry into our Marriage Ambassador Grand Prize Drawing for each couple that completes the program!

GRAND PRIZE
One-night hotel stay with dinner

Every couple deserves the opportunity to renew their covenant, rebuild their connection, and rediscover the celebration found in a Christ-centered relationship. Help us spread the message that strong marriages build strong families, strong churches, and strong communities.

Thank you again for investing in your relationship. Remember that intimacy is not sustained by feelings alone. It is strengthened through repeated choices to listen, apologize, pray, forgive, protect time, express affection, and remain curious about the person you promised to love.

We look forward to seeing you at our next session!

With Love,
Pastors Terry & Tina Egans
Married4Life Ministry
New Light Church